One of the things that would surely ruin my day is tumbling upon a Bad movie; Bad as in corny, unbearably boring, sexually explicit, superbad acting, bad script, non-badass bad story, poor picture and no impact whatsoever. According to my unpublished philosophy movies are one of the greatest thing ever happened to mankind, to the point that I had convinced myself that it’s the greatest form of Art, better than Michelangelo, Leonardo DaVinci, J.K. Rowling and Britney Spears. I believe Aliens would invade Earth to learn this delicate Art that is why to witness a bad one is unforgivable. So here’s my crazy tips to get rid of the Bad Ones.
Firstly. Everybody is unique, just like everyone else. We have different taste for movies but we all do agree that Brad Pitt is hot, and Slumdog Millionaire is a good watch. But there are some isolated cases where a person can like a certain movie, and another will condemn it. One basic example is that a macho/chauvinist should not, ever, watch Twilight and John Lloyd flics when the girls would kill for it. And it’s the same case for human rights activist watching Saw movies. So basically identify your tolerable genres for movies, among are the Bang-bangs, the Power-powers, the Cheesiness, Tearjerkers, the LOL, the Slasher, and the boring Oration movies to name a few.
REVIEWs and Ratings
Movie reviews are found in the internet alone. Don’t read it in the papers, they are paid ads. R&R are like metal detectors where you can detect at first glance a Bad movie. But did you know that there are many kinds of movie reviews? So please proceed with caution. It depends on who made the review online. I classified them in two major groups: The Nerds and the Commoners. The former is made by film geeks and film experts, they have high standards with virtually no mercy that a simple costume slip could spell disaster on the movie’s ratings, their Headquarters is found in RottenTomatoes.com (they got good stuffs out there). They cane even predict who can win The Oscars. The Commoners are made up of the ordinary people from all walks of life with internet connections. They are the sure thing when choosing the right movie to watch, they don’t have any headquarters but they make all the People’s Choice Awards accurate! Flixter.com and IMDB.com are fine examples.
Rule of Thumb: 60% movie rating is usually positive enough for both groups, which means it is good.
If you have the fantasy to have an affair with a hotness actor or a goddess actress then there’s no way you can miss any of his/her films. If you really are a true fan go ahead, watch and let live. Remember movies are included in the saying “Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.” However I really had a hard time admitting that some of my favorite actors made some terribly unbearable movies, like last night when I watched Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) in his The Soloist. Even Johnny Depp in Secret Garden, Anglina Jolie in Alexander, and Titanic’s Jack and Rose in Revolutionary Road. My God I fell asleep in those movies.
So my advice please as much as possible lessen your trust in the actors and invest it in the directors. Once a director is branded good, he’ll be doing movies. Good examples are the careers of James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Zack Snyder, Kwak Jae-yong, Wong Kar-Wai, Christopher Nolan and Brillante Mendoza.
Rule of Thumb: a novel-based movie is always good; if not at least it’s a good story. The rationale of this argument stems from the genesis of these movies; of course there is no stupid executive producer that is willing to throw away millions of dollars to make a terrible movie! I never said it is always good, there still some black horse in the genre varying from an individual’s taste. In my case I never really liked Oscar Best Picture “No Country for Old Men” and every-girl’s fantasy Twilight franchise. Please don’t kill me, I’m just telling my opinion, girls. ^_^
One more thing, it is the book that is better than the movie, always. If it ain’t please tell me.
My last piece of advice is always open up your radars for buzz and rumors of good movies. They usually take form on your friends’ suggestions who have watched the movie already. So for friendship sake just listen to them. Watching movies are better in the company of others.
So that’s all my tips, acquired from years of watching movies. Remember watching a movie that really sucks is not only a waste of money it’s also a waste of time and an added insult to our ordinary lives. I hope you pick some useful nastiness in it.