DATING: Bisaya Version

Posted: February 13, 2011 in Journals

So here we are again celebrating the Valentines Day tomorrow. Chocolates are running low in the stores. Flower shops are opening in seventh heaven. Hallmark’s busiest time of year. This is the hours where the romantics are scribbling about the SLR (Stupidity, Love and Relationship) in their diaries, journals, blogs, twitter and facebook accounts.

But for me, nah I’m posting this blog. That’s all and yeah, kinda depressed playing NBA2k11 (I’m such a loser I dont even know what’s the dunk button). For obvious lack of sufficient inspiration tonight and for like all my life, I’m sharing with you some dating tips written in the Bisayan dialect. I am not the one who wrote this, I only saw this a few years back on Friendster’s long forgotten ‘bulletin board’ (you guys still remember that one? it used to house surveys of all nonsense in the world). I shared this stuff to a former beauty queen I used to exchange lengthy emails with, and she absolutely loved it. Hi RC-san! ^_^

I still got a hard laughing whenever I read this. To the non.bisaya speakers, you can asks for the English translation by leaving some comments below. Hope you love this post.

Da 7 Det-det Konpesyun

1. Kung muingon mi nga gwapa ka, ayaw dayon tubag ug “atik!”…Panagsa ra mi mu dayg ug gwapa…obyusleh, kung gitawag ka nga “gwapa” naa jud mi enteres nimo…kinsa man sad kuno ang tarong nga laki tawagon kang “bati’g nawng!” atubangan sa kadaghanan…Di kaha mi katilaw ug flying kick ana?

2. Mangutana gani mi kung kanus-a imong Day-Off ug kung abelabol ba ka ana, kana nagpasabot kung pwede ba ka ma detdet (DATE ba sa ininggles)…ayaw sa mi baraha kay magutana lagi mi nimu ug strait…amo lang gityming-tyming kay mauwawon man sab tawn mi mga kwanggolon…

3. Kung nakabantay na ka nga nagsige na mi ug sunod-sunod nimo, maka-baynte na mi ug grit nimo gud morning, or ikaw na lang pirmi tagdon, makig dungan ug uli bisan nort ug sawt, langit ug lupa ang gilay-on sa atong balay wid matching “Ako lang dala sa imo things beh!”, kana ganahan jud mi nimo… Pero sa pirmi natong kinuyog ug detdet (DATE sa ininggles pa), ayaw sad pangutana
ug dali-dali “Wat r we?” or sa binisaya pa,
“Unsa man jud diay ta?”…Inahak, makulbaan sad mi gamay…we also feel a bit presyur… Kalma lang gud…musulti lagi mi in dyu taym. =)

4. Kung kahibaw na jud ka nga ganahan mi nimo kay nisulti na man jud mi (hala ka!) Ayaw sad sige hisgot sa imo Ex-boypren oi… its hurt man sad…not unlis kung nisturya ka sa panahong gigukod siya sa inyong IRO nga nisutoy siya ug dagan kay por syur I will lap wid u.

5. Hangyo lang sad, kung nakakita ka sa imong crush o di ba kaha nakakita ka ug laki nga purting gwapoha, ayaw sad panguhit namo, “Gwapo kay siya noh?” Hala plis! Laki intawn mi ug dili pud mi kiligon sa imong crush… Masuko ra ba mo mu comentaryo mi, “Gwapo pa man akong lolo ana!”

6. Sa panahon nga mag-date na tah, por syur kami man jud gasto, be konsyus wid yor dayet ha para konsyus pud mi sa among bulsa…kung kada adlaw na ta date ug nakabantay mo nga chippy ug tubig na lang among gi-order, KKB na ta ha…salamat sa

7. But op cors labaw sa tanan, ayaw kaayo ni ninyo siryusuha kay basin mu comantaryo mo, mapikon mo ug ibalik ni ninyo nako, mamisti mo….Djok djok ra ni.


  1. Kim Nejudne says:

    Great post, Lester! Naa ko’y nakat-onan. Ako ni i-try. haha

  2. Irish Precious Mangubat says:

    I only understood the 6th tip… I think hehe

    Happy valentine’s day, Lester. 😀

    • lapiskamay says:

      hehe cnxa na Irish ha, for bisaya kasi yan.
      u can ask your father or friends for the translation. hehe or you may pray hard tonight na sana maitranslate ko xa. hehe
      I’ll find a time soon.
      Happy Valentines to you also Irish. ^_^

      • irishprecious says:

        Praying. 🙂

      • lapiskamay says:

        1. If we guys say that you are beautiful/pretty, please don’t say atik! (bola). We rarely appreciate female beauties in person, if you are called ‘beautiful’ we realy do have an interest on you. There’s no sane guy who will call you ‘ugly face’ in front of your face. We will surely taste some flying kicks.
        2. If we ask when is your day-off, and if you are available on that day, that means if you are free to go out for a DATE. Dont pressure us, coz we will ask you straight, we just find our timing because we are also shy creatures.
        3.If you noticed that we always follow you around, and we have greeted you Good Morning twenty times already, or you are the only one we put attention to, or takes you home even though our houses are North and South, Heaven and Earth that far away.. with matching “miss let me bring your things beh”. That means we lilly lilly like you. But along the way of our companionship and detdet (Date ba in English), please dont ask us right away.. “What are we?” (in Bisaya “unsa man gyud ta?). Shit!!!!! we feel our heart beating kaya. We feel pressure you know. Just relax girl.. we will confess to you in due time. =)
        4.If you really know that we like you, and we have already confessed our feeling (lagot ka!) please dont always mention about your EX-BF… it hurts girl. Not unless if you tell me time when your XBF was chased by dogs and scared the hell out of him.
        5.Another favor, if you see your crush or some other hot guys please dont tap us, “He’s cute right?” Halerrr pleasee. We are also guys, we wont blush and giggle (kilig bah) on your crush. Then you’ll get mad if we comment “My grandpa is cuter than him”
        6.During the times when we are dating, its a fact we’ll answer the cost, but be conscious with your diet ha, so we’ll also be counscious with our pockets. If we date everyday and you notice Chippy and water is our only order, so please dont mind. Thank you.
        7.And of course, dont take this seriously. This is only a joke.

  3. lapiskamay says:

    hahaha. cge cge try ko hanap ng time. hehe
    (keep praying girl)

  4. irishprecious says:

    Answered prayer.HAHA

  5. iamjulierose says:

    hahah! LOL This made me laugh this morning! 😉 hahaha

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