Interview with the Lourd: An HP7.2 film review

Posted: August 6, 2011 in Film, Graphics
Tags: , , , , ,

At the age of 21 I had my first taste of seeing through goggles a movie in a very big iMax screen. It was loud, visually arresting and the surround kept me at the edge of my seat. That was the premier night of AVATAR – perfect movie for 3D and the pinnacle of cinematic showmanship (I swear those fireflies were real, I just couldn’t reach them).I thought I’d never see such epic grandeur again, unless it’s AVATAR2, that’s worthy of a P450 iMax ticket.

Two years later I changed my mind.

Wearing of 3D glasses is never a cool thing - people.

By grace of powers that be and bidding my savings good luck, I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 on iMax last week in Cebu City. It’s my sorts of farewell treat to the boy-who-lived, who was by the way my adolescent friend who welcomed me to literature and cinematic appreciation. Thanks God the movie’s screening period coincided with my leave (f.y.i. walang sinehan sa Boracay).

Last night I had a strange dream… that I was being interviewed by my idol and most powerful crazy man in the world, Lourd de Veyra. The conversation went on like this…

Q: Bakla ba si Harry Potter?

A: Hindi yata, pero maraming mga lalaking nababakla sa kagwapohan nya. Oi crush ko pala si Hermione.. hehe (macho giggles).

Q: Adik! Ok serious tayo bro, in 1 minute describe the characters portrayed in the movie in no less than a hundred words .

A:  Ah its uhm (halatang nagnosebleed)… Ang cute talaga ni Emma Watson! And that dork Longbottom guy, what the heck, ano secret nya of his sudden galactic rise to hotness?! At sino ngaba yung chicks  na multo sa huli? Syet, cute din yun medyo kapangindig palahibo lang. At yung ka kissing scene ni Harry with the Ginny-girl ang pangit, wala silang chemistry, sinong pakensyet na gago ang nagsali nun? Dude di talaga sya hot,  pangit acting nya at therefore di karapatdapat pagfantasyan.At si Voldemort  kakatakot talaga portrayal ni Ralph Fiennes with that matching shissshisssssesss like a true ahas. Di ko alam if its due to the aircon or sa gutom basta chill to the bones ang performance nya.

Q: pssst psst time-out. Bro adik ka ba or talagang nanaginip ka lang. For chrissake nasa cyberspace tayo, mag English ka naman.

Ok, for the benefit of those bastards waiting to download  (illegally)  the clear copy of the movie at torrent, what is there to look forward to in the movie?

A: Ahemm  (medyo bumalik ang  confidence mag-English)..My favorite scene in the movie was the one where Hermione my-luv disguises her hotness to become the evil craziness Bellatrix. Of course it was all the portrayal ofMrs. Tim Burton/Helena Bonham-Carter, pero dude kuhang kuha nya galaw ni Emma Watson. I mean it’s a first-class acting.

Bonham Carter playing as a disguised Hermione. Damn she nailed that one.

In the beginning of the movie I love the heist scene inside the Gringotts vult. The production design of the landscape and riles (railways), aylavet! Ithe name of Animal Rights Commission pakainin nyo naman ang naghihingalong dragon (feed the dragon).

Then there’s also the save the best for last character developments of some minor roles. The most obvious was Neville who is now a certified member of our international brotherhood of hunks.  Professor Snape was wonderfully redeemed through a cry-cry baby flashback scene, galing talaga ng revelation na yun. I felt like crying of his story (as if I didn’t read the book). He still doesn’t know how to smile. Lastly its Professor McGonagall‘s turn to use some bad-ass magic as she puts to life the Hogwarts’ Terra Cotta warriors  ‘I’ve always wanted to use that spell!’

And people let’s not forget. The movie is a battle movie. The Battle of Hogwarts scene was epic and really fun to watch. You will see a grand spectacle of epic bang-bang wand battles and smoke belching wizards, with giants and creatures joining the battle that would make Peter Jackson proud. Bongang-bonga talaga promise!

Q: Pare lasing kaba o nababaklaan ka na sa akin? T***-ina sa ikakaayos ng mundo ang tunay na lalaki must never use the phrases “bongga” “aylavet” at anong adjective na nagdedescribe sa ka gwapohan ng ibang lalaki. Understand etich?

A: Yes sir (with matching salute)!

The suddenly the dreadful gay image of Robert Pattinson  appeared out of nowhere and wrap himself around Lourd. Yuck!

*  *  *

I woke up. Thanks God. It’s a nightmare that picture above.

 Ring ring ring. Nag.alarm na pala alarm clock ko. I am having funny nightmares nowadays since I started reading the book of Lourd De Veyra. It was 5:30AM already, time to wake up, get the shoes and run. Unfortunately like for all eternity (aka habagat season) it was the rain again sarcastically greeting me good morning. I slept back, for there’s no goddamn way I’m running. All hail bil-bil!

To save some time and brain juices (I am out of words already people). Here’s some copy-pasted lines (which I really agree) from the critics about the last Harry Potter movie:

1.       Part 2″ is a battle-packed, emotionally charged and morally deft end to a series that has never shied away from deep and aching meaning.

2.       The Deathly Hallows: Part 2 serves up a satisfying finale to the Potter franchise.

3.       The films have embraced the dark melodrama that the novels only dabbled in

4.       Deathly Hallows Part 2” is a battle movie—dismal and death-ridden.

5.       When you’ve loved characters for more than 10 years, you want the best for them. And the final scene does capture what happened after WWII and must take place after every war. We mourn our lost. We commit to love. We make a life for ourselves and our beloveds.

We’ve come a long way indeed from the cupboard beneath the stairs at Number Four, Privet Drive. Seriously there wear tears of satisfaction after watching the film. Truly, it all ends here.

Wait, bakla ba talaga si Dumbledore?

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