What Hurts The Most

Posted: September 23, 2011 in Boracay Chronicles
Tags: ,

She is a beautiful young woman, reserved and I swear I heard a bossa nova the first time I saw her.  She’s my coworker and last Friday night went for a diner. The next day we were suddenly an item. And it’s not a good news to either of us.

Define a couple on a relationship? Maybe the common consensus for most people will be two people in love, or somewhere heading to it, who are going out with each other, holding hands, extended phone calls, exchanging sweet smiles and glances and stuffs like that. But remember the X Factor for that kind of relationship – COMMITMENT. And we don’t have it.

What we did that night was we ate dinner together because it was my treat (it’s my payday for Christ sake!). It was just a friendly date between two hungry friends, single friends. We didn’t do anything wrong that night. We ate, we talked and go home. Nothing special.  The only glitch in the night is an Asshole saw us and with all malicious intentions broadcasted it to everyone.

I was very surprised with the way things have been after that night. It was like an entire week of hell at the workplace.  The rumors spread like wild-fire. We were suddenly the object of teasing and sarcasm that is becoming so embarrassing. Now I am once again the greatest ‘chickboy’, the ‘womanizer’ and the irony of it is that I don’t even have a girlfriend. I am losing face now and I feel like not going to work today. She stopped talking to me and yes she’s avoiding me. Just great my week is so wonderful, it sucks. The teasing never stop, my reputation ruined and I wonder if the people around me still respect and trust me the way they did before.

It all started with a rumor.

But the rumor doesn’t affect me much compared to what she has to go through. She had a lengthy talk with her supervisor the other night and I don’t think it was a pleasant one. She’s on a bad mood the past few days. Her smile lost. And I dont want to know how much she absorbed through this entire crazy situation.

I don’t know if writing this garbage post will help both of us, or if it will change anything. But let me be honest I am not a ‘chickboy’. I don’t want her and others (especially that Asshole) to think I am only using her as a trophy girlfriend.   I love women they are beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures, smart, empathetic, and far better than any man in every way. Ask my mom and my big sister, I grew up admiring them.

But do you want to know what hurts the most? It is knowing that you put a woman that makes you happy on great pain because of you.

What have I done to deserve this? I’ve been working so hard in the office, spending twelve to sixteen hours a day, six days a week. I sacrificed so much already just to serve the company. I came here against my will because nobody’s willing to fill in the assignment. I left Cebu, the city I am so madly in love with; I miss hanging out with my younger brothers and my classmates, the Cebu-based office guys’ night out, I let pass participating in the Sunday morning fun runs. And all I get in return is this pain, this embarrassment and all this shit? Right now I don’t really feel like working anymore with everything around here turned upside down. Look I am tired, I miss home, and I am scared of the guns people around here are carrying . I never truly enjoyed life here. Maybe the time has come to seriously think about leaving…

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Comments
  1. Angie Torres says:

    Aww Lester 😦 Reading this makes me feel for you–geez, since when did going out for dinner with a member of the opposite sex mean so much more than just ‘going out for dinner with a member of the opposite sex’? Some people can be total jerks sometimes… even jealousy can consume them or simply, boredom — creating hype to entertain themselves instead of facing their regular, daily routine. But let’s face it. This drama is unecessary and uncalled for. I hope you find your peace somehow. Chin up!

  2. lapiskamay says:

    …thank you so much for your kind words Angie. It helped me a lot. I hope this whole mess will be over soon. sorry for the late reply but i really dont know what to say or how to express the anger and frustration. You’re a good friend, i really thank you.

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