Last weekend I saw a childhood friend blossomed from the little girl next block to a full-blown woman. It was her wedding and I think it was the first time I ever attended such an occasion. We grew up together. We were playmates on those glorious summers of the past by the pantalan, classmates until high school, and though not real close by virtue of gender we remain friends. I still love teasing her when we bump our way. I can’t believe that gorgeous young woman out there at the alter named Robie was the Obing we used to play hide and seek with.
And let’s face it; it’s a joyful sight for the soul to see two people truly madly deeply in love with each other. Robie married Collin Davies a dashing Canadian national who sought her halfway across the globe. The wedding was a smooth success followed by a fantastic reception. Even for a rain-soaked day that would have easily turned into one of those gloomy hours, but everything was simply elegant and beautiful.
But one thing I was particularly not comfortable with was the casual questions raised by the close guests, acquaintances, and yes, even bestfriends: “Unya kanus-a man ka magminyo?” (So when will you get married?). It’s one of those difficult questions to answer not by the lack of answer but because the answer is a definitive NO. No I’m just isn’t ready for that. No I’m just not a marrying type of guy. No I have no money. No I am not in love and have nobody to spend my life with. And, No it’s just not happening. But it is absolutely rude to say that upfront. The proper response is to say nice “Puhon, puhon…” (Someday perhaps.).
But how do guys of my generation view marriage today?
I don’t know about the other guys, but we all know it’s a creep show. Marriage is an enormous responsibility. It’s a real big thing that would surely change life as I see it, in an instant. I’m not signing up for that, and let’s be honest I am afraid of that whole wedding thing. Marriage is to be taken seriously when you’re battle-ready, well equipped and perhaps well-trained for the life ahead. It’s something a guy must really be prepared and planned for. Anything short of that mentality is a case of disgrasya (that’s baby on-deck).
But my two best friends and I were having a good time joking “Does Collin have a brother?” Collin Davies, the Groom, happens to be an insanely handsome guy just about our ag. What those two didn’t know was that Mr. Davies does have a twin brother back in Alberta, Canada. And I never told them. LOL.
There are a lot of reasons and questions to embrace going into a married life. In my case:
- I haven’t met The One, yet. She has to be some who will put all my doubts and fears into the brink extinction in front of the altar. Someone that can handle me. But I’m not really searching for her, at least not anymore. It doesn’t fit me waiting for one when you can have your hands full on so many adoring girls anytime. I have only a few treasured possessions in life and one of them is Freedom, and I’m not losing it for a long time.
- Commitment is still a weird thing to understand. I’m just not ready to hold on to something for a very very long time. There’s just simply too much to see in this world, places to go to, pleasures to experience, people to meet, dreams to chase etc., and I feel I can achieve those better and sweeter alone on my own pace. Once married and virtually tied down, it could spell Game Over to all of those undertakings.
- Weddings have huge price tags. (This should be number one) I can only imagine how much money Collin and Robie spent for their wedding. But a marrying couple have to pay for the gown, the rings, the media coverage, the souvenirs, the reception, the talents, the place and etc. Too bad I am only earning an accountant’s salary so it might take years before I could breakeven to whatever the price a wedding is in the future.
- I don’t think I am man enough to get married. I maybe 24 but deep down I’m like 17 – young, wild, and carefree. With all those responsibilities that comes with marriage is simply too much to imagine me carrying. I have a feeling I would not be a good enough as a husband like my dad does to my mom, a father as my Tatay does to us siblings, or a son- in-law to my in-laws. I just don’t want to please nobody to live happily.
- And lastly I’m perfectly lonely. I’m just great spending time by myself without having to care for anyone special. I have a family to hang on to and friends I can hangout with, and that to me are everything. Happiness doesn’t have to come from somebody, because if one is happy being single then he can also be happy in a relationship. In short you don’t have to be with somebody to become complete. I’m not done yet with enjoying singleness.
But on the second thought marriage isn’t really a bad thing. It provides us an opportunity to be completely happy, a good reason to be in love and be loved in return. Marriage also means having to start a family and raise cute kids, a.k.a. to settle down. But for now and for a very long time, it simply doesn’t apply to me. The most important thing is to congratulate and offer our blessings to Mr. and Mrs. Collin Davies. Indeed, wishing them both all the best in life. Man it was a really fantastic wedding out there!